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  • Writer's pictureClare C. Chan

Regression Therapy Series (8) - The Inaccessible Lover

Regression therapy refers to tracing back to the root of a problem and transforming it for healing. During the therapy process, we allow the subconscious mind to guide us to the root of the issue, which may be related to traumas encountered in this life, or unresolved, unreleased emotions and traumas from past lives. In my clinical experience, regression therapy is well suited to be used in conjunction with other psychotherapy methods, allowing healing at both conscious and subconscious levels. Since regression therapy is not necessarily limited to past lives, I have renamed this series of articles as the "Regression Therapy Series."


When George first sought help, it was because he found that every time he tried to approach a woman he was attracted to, he would feel intense anxiety, suffocation, and nervousness. These feelings were so strong that they would immediately make him feel that the woman was not attractive at all, and that getting close to her was very stressful.




Typically, this is how things would unfold: George would meet an attractive woman and become drawn to her. He would try to communicate with her on social media, but he would soon become anxious and uneasy, causing the woman to feel his inconsistency behavior. Whenever he imagine starting to date, anxiety would follow. His anxiety included worries, fears, and immense pressure, leading his mind to constantly dwell on these anxious scenarios. For him, the mere thought of asking a woman out symbolized a step forward in the relationship, which would bring him great panic. When in this state of anxiety over a prolonged period, he would gradually develop depressive emotions, feeling demotivated and finding everything meaningless. This deep-rooted fear and anxiety not only manifested as anxious emotions but also affected his aesthetic judgment. For example, he might have been initially interested in a girl and found her attractive, but the moment he thought about asking her out, his anxiety and fear would torment him, making him feel that the girl was not attractive at all when he saw her again. As a result, he was unable to establish emotional connections with anyone. To others, he may have seemed like a fickle, hot-and-cold playboy who played with people's emotions. For George, however, the truth was that he was desperately seeking a stable romantic relationship with someone he truly loved. This emotional turmoil, which not many people could understand, made him feel particularly lonely, helpless, and wronged.


During counseling, George gradually realized that his anxiety about approaching women stemmed from the emotional turmoil caused by his first relationship. That relationship lasted five years, leaving him physically and mentally exhausted and burdened with painful memories.


During the psychotherapy process, George began to understand the root of his emotional problems, slowly cultivating acceptance of his condition and learning to face his anxiety, fear, and other emotions. However, even with an understanding of the root causes of his emotional distress and methods to alleviate it, his anxiety remained strong, and progress was slow. Therefore, we decided to use regression therapy, employing hypnosis to access the subconscious root of his anxiety and provide treatment. Using George's suffocating sensation during anxiety as a bridge, George quickly recalled various painful fragments from his first relationship, such as his girlfriend blaming her emotional problems on George and accusing him of causing her emotional outbursts and self-harming behavior, including binge eating and suicidal actions, if he didn't immediately comply with her demands. She also used aggressive language to belittle him, making him believe that he was inadequate.


For five years, George visited his girlfriend's home daily, acting like a devoted but trapped private nurse, ensuring she did not harm herself. During these painful days, George experienced extreme oppression, suffocation, fear, and guilt. Through regression therapy, George was able to release the psychological pain he had suppressed for five years and completely sever the emotional entanglement with his ex-girlfriend at both the emotional and subconscious levels.


When I saw George again two weeks later, he shared that he had not experienced the intense fear, anxiety, and depression from before. Only a very mild sensation remained, which George could manage using the coping skills he had learned in psychotherapy. His situation had significantly improved. This case demonstrates the power of regression therapy, not only limited to past lives but also as an effective method to alleviate and release lingering emotional distress in our current lives.


One month after regression therapy, George has now overcome his fears, fallen in love with a woman, and embarked on a romantic relationship with her. I am genuinely happy for George, witnessing him finding love and bravely overcoming his anxiety and fear, ultimately walking alongside the person he loves. I wish them the best!



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